Bill Maher Made A Joke Saying Former 1Direction Member Zayn Malik Looks Like The Boston Marathon Bomber, Now Every 1Direction Fan Wants Him To Apologize

Before I get into anything, who the fuck is Bill Maher? I’ve honestly never heard of this guy in my life before now. Is he someone I should know? Have I been living under a rock that past 20 years? I have no fucking idea.  All I know is there’s no such thing as bad publicity so Mr. Bill Maher just became somewhat relevant in my life.

Back to the blog..

Teenage girls + obsession with boy bands + a joke made about someone in the band + social media = a petition to make a comedian apologize.

No seriously the 1Directioners (I think that’s what they call themselves) created a petition to make Maher apologize for a “racist joke.” And they’ve collected over THREE FUCKING THOUSAND signatures. Yeah I know, over 3,000 people think saying “Where were you during the Boston Marathons?” as a picture of Zayn and Terrorist #2 is shown is racist.

Hey 1Directioners, saying someone looks like someone else isn’t racist, especially coming from a comedian. All Bill Maher was doing was making a joke. Simple as that. So you all need to calm your 13 year old selfs and focus on the huge math test coming up and not what Bill Maher is saying on a comedic TV show.

And if saying that 2 people look a like is racist then I guess I’m the biggest racist of all…

Archie Goodwin from the Phoenix Suns looks like 1984 Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan - UNCLos Angeles Lakers v Phoenix Suns

Bobby Shurmda looks like exactly Reggie Jackson

Br8N8RpCAAAjx5k

NBA Commish Adam Silver looks like this guy in this famous painting

american-gothicsilverconferece

And lastly… Jay Z and Tiger Woods look like these 2 baby’s

tigertigerwoodsyall Jay-ZScreen Shot 2015-04-06 at 3.11.55 PM

I could go on and on with these look a likes. It still doesn’t make me a racist. And it definitely doesn’t make Bill Maher a racist.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 10.47.16 PM

This Old Guy Who Argued With Firefighters Over Buying Food On The Job Is The Worst Type Of Human

 

Look I’m all for people speaking their mind and standing up for shit they think is right. That’s one of the many rights we have as Americans. But this guy is a certified fuck head. To call out some firefighters because they bought some food for the department while they’re working is one of the biggest asshole moves I’ve ever seen. Newsflash old balls. I’m no fire expert but from my common knowledge, there isn’t a fire every minute of the day. So I believe that firefighters have some down time. With that down time they can do other shit like go grab food, play basketball, clean the trucks or do whatever firefighters do while waiting for a fire. And if a fire breaks out while they’re playing ball or buying food they’re gonna book it to wherever they need to go because that’s there job. So old balls needs to shut the fuck up and go on with his miserable life.

 
P.S.
I loved how aggressive he was when he was taking the pictures. Just jamming on the screen and firing off pictures like it’s no one’s business. Also loved the no look on the final picture. He knew he had the perfect shot. There was no need to look things over.

Dikembe Mutombo , former Professional Basketball player, NBA, at Toranomon, press conference on June 13, 2012. MIURA PHOTO.

On ESPNs Highly Questionable, Alonzo Mourning Confirmed Dikembe Mutombo Did Use The “Who Wants To Sex Mutombo” Pickup Line

Thank you Zo for finally bringing the truth about Dikembe Mutombo and his A+ game, even though I feel like everyone already knew this was true. This story is like when you’re taking a test and 5×5 comes up. You know it equals 25 but you type in 5×5 in your calculator just to make sure. That’s what Alonzo Mourning just did for all of America. We all knew that Dikembe definitely walked into a club after a game and yelled out in his cookie monster voice “WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO!” Alonzo Mourning just played the role as the calculator in this situation and confirmed it for us.

Now in honor of this conformation we need Dikembe, Zo and anyone else who witnessed Mutombo’s game to reenact it like how the Chappelle’s had Charlie Murphy come in and reenact times with Prince or Rick James. That skit would be top 5 of all time. And if it turns out to be a bust, we’d still have the audio clip of Dikembe Mutombo yelling out “WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO!” so either way it’d be worth it.

Here’s Dikemebe’s initial denial on Highly Questionable.

Starts at 5:10

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 11.17.21 PM

Takeaways From The Official Entourage Trailer

So I guess this is the official Entourage Trailer, even though they already released a trailer a couple of months ago. I don’t know how the movie business works so.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways here’s what I took away from this trailer..

1.) Nina Agdal may beat out Sloan as the hottest chick in the movie.

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.17.34 PM Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.18.39 PM

2.) Gronk and Edelman tag teamed at least 15 extras on that boat scene after they were done filming.

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.20.24 PM Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.20.35 PM

3a.) Baron Davis is still relevant?

3b.) If Baron Davis and Gary Busey acting together can’t win this movie an oscar then I don’t know what will. Having those two together in one scene is hollywood GOLD.

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.22.19 PM

4.) I take back what I said earlier about Nina beating out Sloan. Rack City

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.31.21 PM

5.) Cancel takeaway #4. Sure she’s going tits out for the boys but… she’s pregnant and pregnant chicks can’t be the hottest chicks in the movie

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.32.30 PM

6.) There’s gonna be a shit ton of cameos in this movie like Ronda Rousey, David Spade, and Mark Wahlberg but this is the most important one.

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 8.38.16 PM

Final Thoughts

One thing I want this movie to do is close the gap between season 8 and the start of the movie. Season 8 of Entourage was a strange season. A lot was rushed into the final 8 episodes and it left me with a lot of questions. If this movie can somehow close that gap and have some background of what happened since the last time we’ve seen everyone then I think it could compete with the series in goodness. Like if the series was a 9/10 then I can see this movie be an 8.8/10.

For the rest of the movie, I know there’s gonna be more than one problem that takes place between Vince, Ari, and E, just like the whole series went. Somethings gonna go wrong somewhere along the line in Vince’s new movie and Ari and E are gonna be extremely concerned thinking it’ll ruin Vince’s career. One thing will lead to another and Vince will come out on top like he always did (besides season 7).

I could be wrong about everything. I could be right about everything. Either way I’m pumped for this movie to come out this summer.

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 5.46.13 PM

Some Kid Showed Up To Class Wearing His Face All Over His Shirt

Screen Shot 2015-03-24 at 5.46.13 PM

Usually I’d say wearing a shirt of yourself would be a douchebag move but this kid pulled it off. He comes off as a goofy kid to begin with so adding a shirt covered with his goofy mug just blends perfectly. In fact I commend him for having the balls to rock his goofy mug on a shirt while everyone around him is sober. Only thing though.. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had more then one selfie wardrobe. He just comes off as a kid who’d do that.

Now the big debate on this shirt.. Does it get him laid? I say 110% yes. He may not get laid right after class or after a trip to the store because you just come off as a goofy kid who loves wearing his face. But you break out a shirt like this at a party and chicks are throwing themselves at you left and right. Now I’m not talking about 10’s and 9’s because unless this kid is a millionaire, there’s no way they’re gonna fuck him. If any 8’s and below are available then odds are he’s getting his dick wet by the end of the night, solely because of this shirt. Chicks love a good laugh while getting hammered and this shirt will get the job done.  Fuck it I may grab one of these shirts myself.

Anyways if you wanna grab one of these you can at www.shelfies.com

H/T Reddit

Screen Shot 2015-03-21 at 11.26.28 AM

Some Guy Trying To Sneak His Way Into The U.S. Got Hiding In A Cars’ Bumper

I’ve seen people hiding under blankets in the back of mini vans. I’ve seen people trying to swim their way into America. And I’ve seen people try and outrun Border Patrol. But I’ve never seen anyone try and come into the land of the free by car bumper. This guy changed the illegal border crossing game forever. Sure he got caught by probably the A-Team of border patrol guards but put him against any Jose Schmo and this guy running his own landscaping business in New Mexico by April. So hats off to this trailblazer. By June illegals are gonna be sneaking into America in waves by car bumper all because of this guy.

Screen Shot 2015-03-07 at 11.07.02 AM

And1 Mixtape Legend Hot Sauce Crossed Up A Defender Into A Split

i8SpBem

A younger me used to wonder why players like Hot Sauce never played in the NBA. An older me still wonders why Hot Sauce isn’t in the NBA. Sure he’s probably in his 40’s now but he’s still crossing people up and making them do splits.

The people he plays against may not be at a NBA caliber level but a cross up is a cross up in my book.

Just ask this dude how he feels about crossing people up..

Either way I’m almost positive that Hot Sauce, The Professor, Sypda, Helicopter, Half Man – Half Amazing, Sik Wit It, and Skip to My Lou would go out and compete in the NBA. They’d have a tough time against the upper tier teams like the Cavs, Warriors and Hawks. But a game between the And1 Tour and either the Kings/Knicks/Lakers/Nuggets/Celtics/any average NBA team would result in Hot Sauce going off for 40, Sik Wit It dunking on everyone and the And1 Tour winning. No doubt in my mind about that. What Adam Silver should do for next years All Star game is allow the And1 Tour to play one of the teams I named. If the NBA team wins then they get to stay in the league. If they lose then the And1 team gets to replace them.
Boom. Billion dollar idea. Adam Silver can thank me later.

P.s. Couple of take aways from the original Hot Sauce Video

1.) Getting the ball thrown off your head mid game has to be one of the most demoralizing things to ever happen to someone. If that happened to me I’d just walk off the court and never play basketball again. zgFFgG

2.) Just kidding, getting crossed up into a split has to be one of the most demoralizing things to happen. There’s nothing you can do after it happens besides staying on the ground and accepting what happened. Odds are your ACL, MCL, groin and pride were just torn to shreds so why bother getting up? Just lay there and cry.

dzEgoS

3.) The “shot by a sniper celebration” is slowly becoming my favorite. Nothing better then watching a guy play basketball one second. Then BOOM. Sniper round goes off and he’s dead because of what just happened..

ijrvw

4.) The white guy has outstanding basketball IQ. Stand in the corner and wait patiently wait for the ball. Only criticism I have for him is to keep his hands up just incase he gets to touch the ball.

Screen Shot 2015-03-07 at 11.07.02 AM